Your Advice: How Do You Deal with Resistance to Your Choice to Homeschool?

A mom considering homeschooling asked the above question in our Facebook group. Here are the responses she received from other homeschoolers:

“We ran into some resistance. I found being ready with a clear reason as to why we were homeschooling helped. I could explain to them about the thought and prayer that went into the decision and it seemed to help them feel more at ease that this wasn’t some random, out-of-the-blue thing. We also looked to other homeschoolers for support.”

Christina

“I didn’t encounter much resistance – but [did encounter] some concern over the “social aspect.” You know what is best for your child … they will come around.”

Alicia

“We were expecting resistance, but family was unbelievably supportive and still are! Some friends thought we were crazy but they saw the results for themselves after a fairly short period of time. If they give you a hard time, just ignore it and trust that they will reverse their opinions later.”

Erin

“Kindergarten wasn’t as difficult for my family to understand as the rest of the grades are. For some reason Kindergarten seems to be the “easy” grade. I thought Kindergarten was the most important one for sure. But as the years have passed, my family and friends have become more used to the idea.”

Teresa

“I didn’t receive much resistance at all. To the only person who said something negative, I asked very nicely, “Wow, are you saying that you have concerns about my ability to make decisions for my children?”. She said, “Well, no”. I said, “Well THAT’S a relief! Do you want more coffee?” Pretty much ended there…I’m sure she’s still trying how to broach the subject without suggesting she’s questioning my parenting ability.”

Allison

“I experienced a lot of resistance. I didn’t have one family member or friend that supported my decision. It was very hard and I developed a lot of anxiety over it and still do to this day. People around me still tend to make remarks about how my son sleeps too late or how he doesn’t have a girlfriend because he’s not on a “normal” high school schedule… you just have to do what you feel is right in your heart. My son is 16 and has been homeschooled for 4 years and he is happy and isn’t missing the pressures that are associated with walking the halls of a high school. I can’t say that it’s easy, but I can say that I love my son and want what is best for him. You have to ignore others’ opinions to a certain extent because most of them are not educated on how a homeschooler actually learns. Not sure if this was helpful but just know if you don’t have support, you will be okay. Take it one day at a time and a few people will come around to your way of thinking. Good luck.”

Jeanne

“I didn’t have much resistance from other family members but I didn’t really have support either. All of the other homeschool mom’s have been such a blessing to our family! When I did get questions or comments I would just explain my reasoning and let them know that I prayed and thought long and hard before coming to this decision.”

Amy

“I just always said we were “experimenting” with the direction and carefully held back the reality that we planned to enjoy this lifestyle for many years. I knew they just couldn’t handle that thought at the time – that was 24 years ago and we’re still enjoying homeschooling, and the doubters became supporters over the years for the most part.”

Terry

“One thing you could tell people is that, instead of homeschooling, your child is attending a “very small private school” Not sure of the requirements where you live, but in California we can homeschool without district interference by filing a PSA form, which establishes the individual as their own private school – so what if there’s only the one student? Like many other parents, we don’t worry too much about what people outside of our family think or say. As long as you, your child(ren) and your spouse are on board, the rest will fall into place eventually.”

Jade

“I still meet resistance from my father, he feels that the kids are missing out socially and that there are things I cannot provide at home. I do let him know about the activities we do and the homeschool groups we attend and the kids they meet there, but that is not enough for him so I just let him rant as I smile and nod and ignore him. We love homeschooling and the kids are doing wonderfully. That is what really matters.”

Martha

“We have been fortunate to not really have resistance. Questions, yes. Resistance, no. I’ll answer questions and share our life style to those who do not really know us. I have met a few ladies who are teachers that are a bit more outspoken on in their questions/opinions, as they are believers in the general system – I get that. If anyone ever becomes too questioning or offers up their naysayer attitude, I invite them to talk privately — NEVER in front of my child (for my child’s sake). I feel they deserve the same respect for their [choice of] education as public/private/boarding/religious – so people are not allowed to talk negatively about our options around her. Once I found other homeschooling parents it helped a ton [and] I didn’t feel alone. Good luck to you!”

Liberty

“Ultimately the decision belongs to you, her parents, so their opinions should not sway you. Just carry on and set an example and be sure to find a good, local support group.”

Jayne

“You may be surprised. I pulled my daughter from our church’s parochial school to homeschool, and some of the most supportive people have been the school teachers and staff. There’s so much bad being said about public schools these days that even people who generally support them can see possible issues. They may not fully understand HOW I can homeschool, or my particular reasons, but they can see that public schools may not be great and that private schools are expensive.”

Donna

“My husband’s family remains somewhat uncomfortable with our choice to homeschool simply because it’s a departure from the average American lifestyle, a lifestyle which they totally embrace and which they perceive as breeding success. My in-laws do seem to appreciate homeschooling’s EFFECT on our kids (enjoyable interactions with others, their level of interest in and knowledge of various subjects), but they still think homeschooling is kind of “weird.” They really like hearing when our kids are involved in activities (sports, music, etc.) outside the home (which is funny, because we homeschool primarily to BE home), probably because it feels like common ground.”

Amy

“While I found resistance on almost all fronts, I was encouraged that the only person who was fully supportive of our decision to homeschool was my daughter’s Montessori preschool teacher. She believed Kindergarten would be a waste of time for her since she had already done the work and that receiving one-on-one attention from a loving mom would be more beneficial than putting her in public school. That was a few years ago–I am more confident in our choice now and really couldn’t care less if others don’t approve.”

Susanne

“All these comments are soooo good to read….resistance was met with our families as well. One parent said, ‘Are you sure you want to do that?’. Another said, ‘We’ll talk about that later.’ LOL Right! Still another grandparent has completely ignored the subject with us and 3 years later, still has never spoken to us about any aspect of it. She did say recently, “Well school will be starting soon and you’ll be less busy!!” What?!?!?! Just make your own road and go down it, bumps and all. Do what you think is best for your child! Thanks for all the comments and support from everyone here!!!”

Debbie

My advice is to know your why. Why are you homeschooling? As long as you know your why, you know how important this decision is to you and your family, and you will not be swayed by the opinions of others.

What advice would you give? Let us know in the comments below. Your answer could help another homeschooler!